Supporting Someone Who Is Being Bullied Online

What Sustained Online Bullying Looks Like

Occasional rude chat is common in many online spaces, and handling it is a matter of tools and resilience. Bullying is different. It is repeated, targeted behavior meant to hurt, embarrass or isolate someone. Online, it can include:

• Persistent insults or threats in messages or voice chat
• Spreading rumors or private information
• Sharing embarrassing images or recordings without consent
• Deliberately excluding someone from groups
• Creating fake accounts to harass them
• Coordinated pile-ons by several people
• Impersonating the person to damage their reputation

Because it can follow someone onto their phone and into their home, it can feel inescapable. People on the receiving end often feel ashamed, which is part of why they do not always speak up. The general topic of online harassment is covered elsewhere on this site; this article focuses on helping a specific person.

Signs Someone May Be Struggling

A person experiencing cyberbullying may not say so directly. Possible signs include:

• Suddenly avoiding games, devices or accounts they used to enjoy, or the opposite, seeming unable to put their device down
• Appearing upset, anxious or withdrawn after being online
• Changes in sleep, appetite or mood
• Reluctance to go to school, work or social events
• Secrecy about their screen or deleting accounts
• Drop in grades or interest in activities

None of these proves bullying, since many things can cause them. They are simply reasons to check in.

Start by Listening

The first response matters most. The person needs to feel believed and safe to talk. Helpful approaches:

• Choose a calm, private moment, without distractions.
• Open gently: “I’ve noticed you seem down lately. Do you want to talk?”
• Let them tell the story at their own pace, without interrupting.
• Say plainly that it is not their fault and that you are glad they told you.
• Stay calm yourself, even if what you hear is upsetting.

Things to avoid saying:

• “Just ignore it.” It may sound dismissive, though ignoring can be one of several options later.
• “Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” This can add guilt.
• “It’s only online.” For the person experiencing it, it is real.
• “Just stop playing.” Taking away their space can feel like punishment and may discourage them from telling you anything again.

If you are a parent, the same principle applies: an adult who responds with calm concern is more likely to be told about the next problem too. Parents can find further ideas in guidance on child online safety.

Help Them Take Practical Steps

Once they have talked, ask what they want to happen. Having a say helps them regain a sense of control. Common steps include:

1. Save evidence. Take screenshots showing usernames, dates and the messages themselves. Keep them somewhere safe, but avoid repeatedly rereading them, which can be upsetting.
2. Use the safety tools. Mute or block the people involved, and use privacy settings to limit who can contact them. How muting, blocking and reporting work is explained in a separate article.
3. Report the behavior. Use the in-app reporting options, and where relevant tell the school, club, workplace or community moderators. Outcomes vary, so be ready to follow up.
4. Tighten privacy and security. Review profile visibility and personal information, and change passwords if there is any chance an account was accessed.
5. Avoid retaliating. Hitting back can escalate things and may break rules, which can create trouble for the person being targeted.

Some of these steps will feel slow. Reassure them that you will work through them together.

When to Involve Others

Some situations call for more than platform tools. Consider involving a trusted adult, school staff, an employer or the authorities if:

• There are threats of violence, stalking or sexual content.
• Private images have been shared.
• The person’s real-world safety may be at risk.
• The bullying involves adults targeting a minor.
• It continues despite reports and blocking.

In urgent cases, local emergency services are the right contact. Rules about harassment and how they are enforced vary by place, so look up local guidance if you need it.

Look After Their Wellbeing

Being targeted can affect mood, confidence and sleep. Without making assumptions, you can:

• Keep checking in over the following days and weeks, not just once.
• Encourage regular sleep, food, movement and time with supportive people.
• Suggest enjoyable activities away from screens, and reconnect them with real-life connections.
• Be mindful that repeated attacks can shake a person’s self-esteem.
• Welcome breaks from the platform if they want them, and let them choose when to return.

If you notice persistent sadness, hopelessness, withdrawal, or any mention of self-harm, take it seriously. Encourage them to talk to a qualified professional, such as a doctor or counselor, and consider going with them. If you are worried about immediate safety, contact local emergency services or a crisis line. This article provides general information and cannot replace professional help.

If You Are a Friend or Bystander

You do not need authority to make a difference. Options include:

• Messaging the person privately to say you noticed and you are on their side.
• Not joining in, sharing or reacting to the abuse.
• Reporting the content or accounts involved.
• Encouraging others to speak up too, since groups tend to act when someone goes first.
• Supporting the person without taking over their decisions. The related topic of supporting a friend whose play worries you shows a similar approach to caring without controlling.

Take Care of Yourself Too

Helping someone through this can be draining. Share the load with another trusted person where appropriate, and remember that you cannot fix everything. Your steady presence, a willingness to listen and help with practical steps are what you can offer, and they are often enough to make a real difference.