About the word “study”
This article is not a report of one particular experiment, and it cites no figures. It looks at two parts of emotional intelligence, empathy and self-awareness, and asks how cooperative and competitive play might touch them. The broader picture, including regulation, motivation and social skill, is covered in the pillar piece on emotional intelligence. Here the focus is narrow.
Research on this subject is mixed. Findings differ with the games, ages and measures involved, and most studies can only show that things tend to go together, not that play causes a change.
Two skills worth separating
Empathy is sensing what another person feels and caring about it. It has a “reading” side (noticing someone is upset or excited) and a “caring” side (being moved to respond kindly). People can be good at one without the other.
Self-awareness is noticing your own emotions, strengths, limits and habits as they happen, or soon after. It is the starting point for almost everything else in emotional skills.
Cooperative play
When you team up with others, a number of small social tasks appear. You decide who does what, you notice who is struggling, you say “nice one” or “my fault” and you adjust to different play styles. Players with voice or text chat often have to read tone with limited information: no face, only words or a voice.
Possible benefits, in a plausible but unproven sense:
- Practice at noticing when a teammate is frustrated or lost.
- Practice at giving feedback without hurting someone.
- Experience of repairing a bad moment, such as an apology after a mistake.
Possible downsides:
- Online anonymity can make careless unkindness easier. If the person on the other end feels like a username, caring about their feelings takes more deliberate effort.
- Conversations restricted to tactics can leave little room for anything personal.
Quality likely matters more than quantity. A small, friendly group that talks about more than the match probably offers more social practice than hours among strangers. The related article on being a good teammate has practical behavior tips.
Competitive play
Rivalry brings different emotional material. Reading an opponent means predicting what they will do, which is a cognitive kind of perspective-taking. It is not the same as caring about how they feel, and being good at one does not guarantee the other.
Competition can raise self-awareness. When you notice your pulse rising, your jaw tightening or your thinking narrowing after a bad round, you are seeing your stress response in action. Some players use that information to get better at staying steady.
On the other hand, a heavy focus on rank and results can narrow attention to yourself. If every match is about proving something, it becomes harder to notice anyone else, and your mood becomes tied to outcomes you do not fully control. Winning and losing graciously, which is a social skill, may get less practice in that setting.
Story-driven play
Games with characters and choices ask you to follow another perspective, sometimes a very different one from your own. Reading fiction does something similar for many people. Whether either leads to more empathy toward real people is not firmly established, but thinking carefully about why a character acts the way they do is an exercise in imagination that does no harm.
Why it is hard to conclude much
Consider the confusions that get in the way:
- Who plays what. A naturally empathetic person may choose cooperative games. If so, the empathy came first.
- What is measured. Questionnaires about empathy, reading faces and real behavior toward others can give different answers.
- What else is going on. Family, friendships, school and personality all shape these skills at least as much as play does.
- Dose. A few hours a week and many hours a day are not the same situation, and heavy play can displace time with people in person, which is where much social learning happens.
So it is safer to say “play can be one setting for practice” than to say “play improves” or “play damages” these abilities.
Simple ways to use play for practice
- Name your state. Before and after a session, take a moment to put your mood in a word or two. Over time you may spot what tends to raise or lower it.
- Notice one teammate. During a match, pay attention to how one other player seems to be doing, and say something supportive if it fits.
- Reflect after a rough moment. Ask what you felt, what triggered it and what you would like to do differently.
- Talk beyond the game. Ask the people you play with how their week is going. Many cooperative friendships deepen this way.
- Balance with face-to-face time. In-person conversation includes tone, expression and silence, which text and voice lack.
A note on wellbeing
If you find that play makes you feel disconnected from others, or that strong feelings after matches are hard to handle, consider speaking with someone you trust or a qualified professional. This article is general information, not medical or psychological advice.